


Cliffside

by BirdiePlays



Series: Original Short Stories [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Cliffside, Death, Depression, F/M, Gen, Guilt, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Loss, Lovers, Ocean, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Waves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 04:44:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20847731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BirdiePlays/pseuds/BirdiePlays





	Cliffside

I couldn’t help the tears that rolled down my cheeks, nor could I fight the tremors that shook my entire body. I was powerless, unable to do anything to stop the grief that ached my heart. I wasn’t even sure if an outside source could help me in this situation. 

Wind pulled at my hair and dress, whipping around me as if it were angry at me. Things were cold, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Grass sliced at my bare ankles and feet, but physical pain was numb to me. In fact, most things were numb to me. The sound of crashing waves below me mirrored the ones in my mind, harsh and persistent. Salt and wet rock was the only thing I could smell, almost overpowering if I were to care. To me, none of this mattered anymore. It was just... there, after all. 

My eyes were set on the skyline, seemingly so close yet so deceiving. I felt as if reaching out far enough would allow me to touch this line, but reaching out to far would send me hurtling over the cliff edge and into the bitter waters below, a place that had no hope of return. There was no one nearby for miles the cliffs were a total drop off that stretched for just as long. If one were to fall, there was no coming back. 

Thoughts pulled me back to why I was here in the first place. What had ended up pushing me to come here. Previous times were always so joyous and celebratory, but not today. Today was a day of mourning, a day of grief, a day of sadness. 

It felt like only a few days ago when I heard the news, though I know internally that it was several years ago. But that was to be expected, since this type of pain doesn’t heal, doesn’t mend. Some even say it slowly gets worse over time. For me, slowly wasn’t a word I could use. Everyday I felt the large, aching void in my heart, yearning for something it could no longer have. It was constant, painful, and most of all, torture in all sense of the mind. 

It caused me physical pain, my joints and body protesting the emotional strain my mind and heart has put on itself unwillingly. Headaches and migraines were normal, never wanting to forget every last detail I could remember. The emotional pain of missing and wanting and desperately holding on to the past. 

It wasn’t healthy, everyone said. You’re destroying yourself from the inside out, they said. But I didn’t care much. How could I, when everything I knew and loved disappeared in front of my very eyes? How could I move on when there was no one to move on with? 

Today was the one day people allowed me to grieve without comment, without a care. After all, today marked the day that I changed forever, the day I lost everything I once knew. The day a part of me was left behind to the storm. 

Which brought me here, standing in the harsh elements of our favorite spot.  _ He would’ve loved this _ , I said softly to myself. And indeed he would. The day wasn’t too cold, the wind not too harsh. The air was clear, not filled with decaying fish or seaweed from below. It would’ve been the perfect day for what we had in store, had everything gone as planned. 

If it wasn’t for that fateful day exactly 17 years ago, our dreams together would’ve came true. A party would’ve been set up here on these very cliffs, celebrating something beautiful. But then that day came and ruined everything. A day that should’ve been filled with happiness was instead filled with sorrow. The most important day of my life - of  _ his _ life - was destroyed in a blink of an eye. 

Tears continued to roll down my cheeks. After that day, there was no hope to be found. Every day turned dark and grey. Even when the sun was out it felt like it was mocking me, acting like the most important thing in life wasn’t just ripped from my arms. Like there was something to live for. 

Which brought me to now, glaring at the sun from the cliffside as it slowly made its way behind the waves of a horizon.  _ I’ll show it _ , I thought to myself angrily.  _ I’ll show it that there’s nothing to go on for. _ Everyone would disapprove, but that didn’t matter anymore. No one could understand the pain i  _ have _ been in all this time. No one could possibly understand how much of my own very soul was lost the day I lost him. 

I took a few steps closer to the edge, wedding dress trailing behind me. It was in perfect condition, just as it was supposed to be for that fateful day. No stains, no tears. Every thread and bead where it was supposed to be. It was beautiful, the exact kind of dress that would make his jaw drop in astonishment. I tried very hard to keep him from sneaking a glance before the wedding, but now I regret that he never was able to see this dress. 

My toes hung over the edge of the cliffs, a few bits of dirt crumbling beneath them. My mind went to what will happen after this. People will mourn, of course, though they will eventually move on just as they did with him. I will be forgotten in the pages of history, just an insignificant thread in the ever growing tapestry of the universe. I will be forgotten, just as he had, but at least we’ll be together once more. 

I smiled at the thought of seeing my love again. It has been oh so long since I've seen him, those around me hiding all pictures and other objects of him away from me. I barely remember his smile, his hair, his eyes, the sound of his voice. Nearly everything about him is on the edge of the abyss of memory, the point of no return. It nearly broke my heart to think about how I could forget one I love so dearly. 

At least soon I will be with him again and we will be one in death. With one last longing look at the sun, which was just now passing below the horizon, I closed my eyes. A deep breath in, a deep breath out. A moment’s wait. I committed the feel of the breeze, the smell of the ocean, and the sound of the waves to memory one last time. 

And then I jumped. 

  
  



End file.
